Expect More And More Orange Cones As Fall Elections Near

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600 Years Ago When Young Idealists Formed The NO ALBANIAN WANNABE ANAL WHORE WRITERS CLUB To Protest Pope Martin’s Wardrobe Choices , Little Did They Know It Would Become The Most Influential Club On The Planet In Just 600 Years .

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As one of millions who drove across the GBW on the Days Of Infamy 9/9 thru 9/12 2013 I probably would’ve blamed myself for the crime but as it turned  I had 3 cretinous dwarfs sans Ritalin  and their mother to do that for me.  Let me set the scene . It was the first Monday after Labor Day. It was not just hot , it was hot enough to keep an Amazon Basin native indoors. Those who’d spent an extra lazy week at the beach , in the mountains, playing the slots –whatever, at least 100 million  people—were experiencing  collective guilt and with every passing second  concocting elaborate excuses why they were late returning to work , school or court ordered community service. Granted , since evolution has obviously not been as efficient as advertised  , there were doubtless many lower forms of primate  among this group actually surprised at a GBW traffic jam, but of the rest , 99.9% blamed themselves– or had others in the car to do that for them –for being stupid enough to try to cross the bridge at any  time  other than the middle of the night during that week. Or, at least ,  for not being bright enough  or courageous  enough to come up with believably grave family tragedy as a cover story and cruise across a week later.

And yet—75 million taxpayer dollars in legal fees, catastrophic clouds of politician expended CO2 , two convictions with endless appeals to come and  39 months later –we are still  being told that a nefarious plot by the Governor’s Office  was afoot to besmirch the reputation of the Mayor of Fort Lee. Only one problem. Until this scandal only TWENTY FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE FUCKING WORLD KNEW FUCKING FORT LEE HAD A FUCKING MAYOR AND THEY WERE FUCKING RELATED OR ON HIS FUCKING PAYROLL OR MOST LIKELY FUCKING BOTH

In short, this is what happened . Republican  Chris Christie wanted to be President or US Attorney General and was crazy enough to believe he could gain a national reputation by fighting the public service unions, or more critically  making their members  pay a greater percentage of their vastly underfunded pension funds. Two problems : 1) New Jersey Democrats are so corrupt they occasionally even get indicted for transgressing  laws they passed that say in essence : as elected officials we are allowed to steal whatever we want and kill whomever we don’t like.  2) The public service unions put them in power.

Now consider the George Washington Bridge . It is slightly less than a mile long and opened in 1931 . The toll charged then was fifty cents–an exorbitant amount  at the time but as it was promised it would only be charged until the bridge was paid for –and then,  it would be free. Today it cost $15.oo to cross the bridge , $114 for trucks (which all New Yorkers pay in higher food costs, for example) .

The reason why the tolls are so high is because New Jersey has vastly underfunded pension funds and because this is so what better way for Christie to make his point  than  by saying to voters “ You are paying $15.00 to cross a mile of asphalt because the Democrats have pledged enormous sums to public union pensions so that the moron in the toll booth can retire at age 55 for $100,000 a year with  a grade A health plan , plus dental. And they don’t have any money to pay for that.”

Did the Democrats actually put up the cones ? Who knows ? But there is a reason they made it into the Crime of Century.

So don’t ask for whom the Orange Cone was placed . It was placed for thee, sucker.


William Benson Huber

William Benson Huber

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